Alignment vs Achievement

Hi my friend

I feel passionately about this topic so I want to jump right into this one.

I am 29 (as of April 13th, 2025) and my bank account looks the same as it did 10 years ago. I am unable to define myself “successful” in that light. Also, in today’s political and economic climate- I am leaving it to higher power to answer how I may achieve financial independence with my morals and values in tact.

So what now?

Who am I- to myself? What have I successfully been able to do while I was striving for success?

I hope all is well- you must know that it can get better from here.

(inhale) let’s begin.

INTRODUCTION: Define Achievement. Define Alignment.

Achievement- a thing done successfully with effort, courage or skill. The process of attaining, reaching, or acquiring something. Alignment- a state of agreement, a position where things fit together harmoniously. At first glance, the two words seem similar but the key difference is found in the emotional experiences they create. Achievement is external- meeting goals, fulfilling expectations and proving worth through a widely accepted version of success. Alignment is internal- a state of being in agreement with your values, your purpose, and your truth. So what happens when these two ideas come into conflict? When achievement leads to our desire for external validation, while alignment asks us to look inward for approval?

I open this discussion to explore the tension between achievement and alignment- how we define success, how external expectations shape our decisions, and how we can empower ourselves to choose a version of success that feels authentic to us.

What do people really mean when they say, “just be yourself”? Are you performing success, checking off the right boxes and meeting expectations? Or are you living successfully- by aligning with what you believe makes you to be who you are?

In essence, let us focus on the difference between proving yourself and knowing yourself.

Body Paragraph: “Do you feel ‘Drained’ or ‘Successfully tired” (balancing effort & meaning) 

Journal entry (02/12/2025)

Currently working two jobs, baking for friends, and paying off bills.

Moving forward, checking off boxes, taking care of responsibilities- this is good.

It is OK to feel that all the productivity leaves little room for rest, reflection, or romance.

Acknowledging that my cup refills enough to keep me going but right now not much over flow

Looking forward to indulgence, stillness, and just being held by life

softness

e a s e

the beauty of being seen and adored

Be open to receive love

Enjoy creativity

Trust in the purpose of this phase

*Exhausting but temporary

This is all building to something

Leading me somewhere

“Being yourself” is a great responsibility- people do not know you until you show them. They simply do not know what you know.They cannot respect you based on past references- they only see here and now.

(end of entry)

I have been writing to myself every day for months now, since a break up and winter actively tried to kill me. I write and then I look back at the entry from 30 days prior and I feel seen. The act of reading EXACTLY what I need to hear and it being something I wrote is such a Godly experience. Creativity is God.

Examining exhaustion: does it feel empty or fulfilling? Are you working towards

(a) something that energizes you or

(b) supports your needs at a later time,

(c) or something that only looks good on paper?

Empty is the way it felt to work 70 hours in 10 days, pay off a bill, and just be glad it is gone.

Fulfilled is the way it feels to care for my things- clean my space, wash my car & my clothes, and to cook food that nourishes my body. A long day at the house feels way better than a long day at work.

Although, exhaustion is not always a sign to stop- it’s a sign to listen.

Does your work sustain you or just keep you occupied?

Are you pushing forward with purpose, or simply out of habit?

The difference between drained and successfully tired isn’t how much you do- it’s whether what you do aligns with who you are. Productivity alone isn’t purpose- if effort is inevitable, let it at least be effort that fulfills you.

Body paragraph: “Expectation is a moving target.” (why external validation is never enough)

Ideals, standards, and expectations constantly shift- making it impossible to “win” by following them. Let’s discuss some common examples on everyday topics like: college, relationships, and work.

(*Ex. College) My step father was the first to buy Georgia State University merchandise and celebrate that I chose to go to college. Unfortunately, his support grew tired and he did not even come to my graduation because the value of the degree had socially and politically changed by the time I finished school. His opinion of my hard work had shifted with the opinion of the times. Cool. As opposed to continuing to support my decision and remind me that the social goal post had moved despite my committed efforts and then still chose to acknowledge me for my pursuit.

(*Ex. Relationships) Well I am not sure I have been in a “proper romantic relationship” because ideally this person would be a comparable partner to me- we would compliment each others’ abilities and empower each other to be more of ourselves. Also, I require someone emotionally available, active problem solver, and respectful of me- those are just my standards. I expect someone to be able to show up in the relationship- challenge me, grow with me and nourish me in similar ways that I challenge them, grow with them and nourish them. So IDK maybe someone else cannot show up like that all the time as my needs are constantly shifting- sometimes I need strength and sometimes I need grace. So it might just be that difficult to decipher for someone who is not me?

We could never get on the same page, I guess. We could never achieve the amount of communication needed to make up for the lack of alignment with each others’ desires, lifestyle, and needs.

(*Ex. Work) Ah! What could I say that you have not experienced or heard about on Tik Tok? Minimum wage is what it is. Prices are what they are. Rent is actively increasing. So no, a little $11 an hour? $15 an hour? Not even a $55,000 would be enough to expect me to be concerned with the needs of the business. Please. Where is the work life balance? It is just work to work more. Nuts.

The truth is, no matter how hard you work, how much you love, or how well you play by the rules- someone, somewhere will decide it is still not enough. The goalpost will always move. The expectations will always shift. Measuring your worth by an unstable standard will always leave you feeling like you’re falling behind. So what happens when we create our own goals and aspire to own ideas of success?

Body paragraph: “The power to decide” (Reclaiming your own definition of success)

The matrix of domination: a term coined by Patricia Hill Collins, shapes who gets to define success and who is forced to prove themselves based on race, class, gender, and other social hierarchies. Karl Marx’s theory of dehumanization explains the way our current social structures strip people of their autonomy by tying their worth to their productivity. Marx arguing that when a person’s labor is separated from their identity- when they are working only to survive rather than an act of personal expression and creativity- they become alienated. Not just from their work but from themselves.

I feel this when I work more than 36 hours a week. I know- that’s considered “lightwork” to older generations. But my mommy, after years of working, now speaks of the disappointment of not having hobbies, of not knowing what to do with time off. She is work. She has had no time to create or experience herself outside of her chosen responsibilities.

It is because of her sacrifices, that I have only known what it is like to entertain myself- to explore my creativity, shape my identity through my art, and to study the world through sociology. I would not be writing this without having taken that time. I would be a different person entirely.

So when I work too much, I can feel myself slipping away- my mind, my voice, my creativity and my presence. These things have no space in system that values productivity over humanity. Thus explaining the phenomenon that is the Apple TV show Severance. Luckily, thanks to creativity, people are getting to look at these sociological concepts for the price of $9.99 a month. They can now watch a dystopian nightmare that looks eerily like the reality we already live in.

The matrix of domination deepens this alienation, assigning different values to different groups based on race/class/gender -determining who is seen as inherently valuable and who must prove their worth through relentless labor. It’s why some people are granted the luxury of being, while others must constantly justify their existence.

So if achievement is always being measured by systems

that do not center our humanity,

what does it mean to reclaim our success on our own terms?

Conclusion: “Finding your footing is a personal journey, you choose. However, true change happens when we align our values”

Reframe: Making sense of your life is not a “struggle”, it is a gift.

As humans, we have the ability to add meaning to things that may or may not be happenstance. Is it magic? Divinity? or a Godly level of creativity that keeps us engaged in this life? That is part is up to you.

You decide for yourself what you want believe.

For me, gaining a sociology degree was more than an achievement- it was a gift to the part of me that was struggling so hard to claim my individual freedom. The experience gave me knowledge, opportunities for growth, and the wisdom to move freely in world that constantly tries to assume and decide for me. It was like peaking behind the curtain- finally putting words to the things we feel and experience every day.

I stopped chasing achievement for its own sake. Instead began to trust my own alignment.

This was my personal transformation. This is my win.

However, personal transformation does not exist in isolation. The values we hold shape not just our individual experiences, but those of the communities we integrate into and choose to co-create with.

Once you reclaim your power as an individual, the next step is asking: How will I use it?

There is a huge decision being made here: Will you align with people who center humanity? Those who prioritize care, justice, and collective well-being?

Because when you do, your choices top being just about you- they become part of something greater.

So, I am curious to know:

What do you want for yourself?

and What kind of world would that create for all of us?

Reminder: It is going to take the time that it takes.

Self development comes with age and experience- you grow to be more of yourself.

We CAN grow together.

Love is real. Believe me.

Thank you for reading and engaging with the work of intelligent people before us.

Dear reader, your participation is so valuable.

I invite you to interact in the comments below.