Keeping a food journal…

(*warning: I am talking about eating and I am going to tell you about my food journal. SO IF YOU HATE THAT or feel triggered by the topic of conversation, I am sure this one is not for you. No need to worry- I am not gonna get to gory into emotions.)

Still first a little backstory…

(Skip ahead to “Thing I want you to try based on my experience” to avoid creating a personal connection and maintaining a transactional way of life.)

I have always been a meticulous person with preferences- I get it from my mother. It would start out with something like a Lunchables, basic cheese and ham, and then better ingredients would be sought out. So instead of buying the Lunchables- we would buy Boar’s Head tavern ham and cheese with Ritz crackers. Now I am making it myself (or mommy would make it and I come home to her cleaning and my plate on the counter:) and I am adding mustard to the crackers. Really taking my sweet time with it. So it has become a habit for me to do so- to take it easy. Especially in the kitchen.

It is important I mention creating the ‘habit’ of it. I believe myself to be a creature of habit, it is in my routines that my identity exists or that I find the consistency of my expression. So this is sort of a disclaimer to those of us that struggle to fit into these ‘shared ways of being’- you must know that there are many ways to be human and no one way is better than the other because truly we all meet the same fate. No one survives! So live and breath as you please.

Now, getting closer to what I do want to share with you- October 2022, I move home to my mom’s after breaking up with my then boyfriend and quitting my job. October is not a good time to be looking for a job with the holidays being such a whirlwind and (instinctively did not agree to fall semester- good thing because I think I woulda destroyed it with my feelings so) the semester didn’t start until January. Basically I had time on my hands- to heal and grief and go inward to reconvene about my life path.

(Thing I want you to try based on my experience) I do believe in journaling. In addition to my journal for my thoughts, I used a separate journal to track my:

-food/water intake: little circles each one meaning 32oz. or one water bottle

-mood: scale of 1 to 10 with an identifying word(s)

-amount of sleep: roughly what time do I remember going to sleep and the time I got up

-workouts: yoga with Adriene, mostly. Also, Madfit on YouTube (for those days I want to push myself)

-poops!: 1-10 how much relief did it bring?

-and any other important notes about the day : idk naps? stressful components that may have impacted sleep or performance like “first day of school” or “early appointment”

So this is why I mentioned the ‘having time’ aspect. I was not keeping up with work, school or any other responsibilities so it was a privilege to focus so much on how I was feeling. I am aware.

My friend! I was not counting calories, the goal was to make sure I was eating at all. Coming out a depressive episode is hard and delicate work, so the only goal was to eat (a subjectively reasonable amount). I used colors to represent each thing and made a habit of using it in the morning after breakfast- so I would have to remember the next day what I ate for lunch/dinner and what time I went to bed.

I did not do this long before the routine became habitual.

I would wake up at the same time everyday(7am), workout/yoga or walk (if I felt unmotivated to do a workout routine). Eat at the same times every day (10am-2pm-6pm).

This structure of doing things made it easier to see how much I could achieve in a day- so I would make reachable goals. Between 7:30am-9:45am I could be working on something, reading, or relaxing. Then 3pm-5:30pm, again there was a block of time. Finally, after dinner (7pm) I would stop drinking water. This meant water needed to be consumed the most in the morning/afternoon and the goal was 96 ounces- because that led to the best poops/digestion. Before bed, I would stretch and do a the LIGHTEST ab workout in the world. I think if I get em burning a little, 10-15 minutes- everyday! then eventually they will look nice. Or they will just hold up my spine and massage my organs, that’s nice too. :)

So ultimately the journal helped keep me accountable, showing up for myself started to feel really rewarding and now the tasks are something I do not want to avoid.

Now this did cause me to become a little imbalanced when I couldn’t maintain this strict routine due to responsibilities changing in my life or wanting to do things that conflicted with my ‘time blocks’.

So I would only recommend being strict/disciplined…

self discipline is a form of self-care!

…about it if you find yourself incredibly out of balance (like going through a breakup or any other emotional distress that has made you feel in need of tender care) Then leave the routine for fun’s sake and return to it when you need it.

The food thing though…it is this way now. lol my digestive system just works better when I stick to the windows of time to eat. Poops are more regular, I stay hydrated, and I am not AS moody as I could be.

Other notes that may be of use:

-I take gummy vitamins everyday.

-Also a B12 vitamin (the Hum brand, B 12 Turbo) and that seems to make waking up in the morning and staying awake during the day a lot easier for me.

-I carry a water bottle, prefer Zero Water filters.(some may say I am water snob)

- I am lactose intolerant so I check labels and avoid milk, butter, cheese. (unless its a dessert that I reeeeeeally want because I love desserts so much! but most need butter to be *sigh)

-I am not a processed sugar girl, candy is not my thing. And avoiding milk ultimately keeps me away from yummy sugary treats.(although those fruity tootsie rolls are too glorious to say no to)

-And I try to avoid caffeine (for the most part). I do like honey Jasmine tea and Earl grey tea for my most productive mornings. (Tues/Thurs at school, I love school) I have to drink it before 10 am or else it bothers my ability to sleep. Otherwise, I drink herbal teas or decaf coffee- Nescafe is my current choice but I still want to try Emma Chamberlain’s version.

-ALSO! In my anthropology class, I learned about how those still living as hunter gatherers- their lifestyle creates diverse diet and exercise. It made me reflect on my recurring food choices. Right now, I am on an oatmeal kick. Every morning. I used to not like it so I think I am making up for all the days I didn’t eat oatmeal.

Thank you for reading :) and for being so friendly.

Good luck with you and yours. *kisses you on forehead